


All the Time in the World

by Metal_Gear_Steve



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Affection, F/F, Fluff, Gentleness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-07 02:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16845115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metal_Gear_Steve/pseuds/Metal_Gear_Steve
Summary: Yasmin has developed feelings for the Doctor, but she isn't sure how to bring this up with anyone. Ryan and Graham have settled after their first few crazy adventures, so it's not like she can rely on the "adrenaline and whimsy" excuse to explain her standoffish behavior forever - sooner or later, she has to bite the bullet and confess her feelings to the Doctor.But there's so much that she doesn't know about the Doctor, and any number of factors could get in the way of a potential relationship. Will Yasmin's confession be successful? Is there room in The Doctor's heart for a new love after a multitude of relationships, most ending in disaster? Will Graham get to try that alien ice cream again, with what's-its-name seeds in it?I guess we'll find out - we've got All the Time in the World.





	1. Retail Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my story! This is my first Doctor Who story in years, the last time I wrote DW fanfiction was like a friend insert story during a really awkward time in my life. I'm excited to be writing again, this iteration of the Doctor is right up my alley as far as writing goes. I don't think I could do a super-quirky Matt Smith or dour Peter Capaldi.
> 
> The tags are all very positive, but there's going to be some conflict here. Nothing insulting or like gayngst or something like that - but it's not gonna be as simple as "I like you!", "I like you too!" and then smooch (which is what I usually like to read and write, tbh). Things are definitely going to be light-hearted, though.
> 
> I threw in a reference or two to earlier Doctor Who runs. Partway through I realised that I was cribbing a lot from the Toclafane when it came to these Nexoris things, so I'm sorry if that all seems particularly hacky. I do rather like the explicit RTD reference I put in, though.
> 
> The first chapter is more of a study on how to get the accents down. Let me know what you think, and if you're from Sheffield or have a northern English accent then I would super appreciate any pointers or criticism regarding the writing. I hope you enjoy the story!

"Alright, Team! Where are we off to next?"

The Doctor shouted to her friends over the TARDIS console, giddy as a child on Christmas morning, as the central console whirred and spun on its own accord. They had just left the universe's biggest shopping mall after partaking in some retail therapy - Kerblam had done a number on everyone, and the Doctor wanted to show them that it wasn't all bad.

The team was in considerably higher spirits, with Ryan buying an alien music player and a "double-F-shirt" as he had dubbed it - a shirt for four-armed alien races. Graham had gotten some nice dishes that depicted the creation myth of the Abzorbaloff people, which the Doctor seemed to snub a little bit - "Met an Abzorbaloff once, y'know. Nasty little man" - but they reminded him of a similar set that Grace kept around for special occasions. He had also tried some ice cream made with an alien fruit - "Sinco-von-tuba-whatever", as Graham put it.

Yasmin was the only crew member whose disposition hadn't particularly changed.

She had enjoyed the trip - absolutely. She had gotten a few alien prints depicting sunrises on different alien planets, stuff that she thought that her family would love to see. There was one with such a vibrant red it nearly hurt her eyes, with shimmering gold threads snaking through the sky like sunbeams - the handiwork on each piece was truly out of this world. Even after the horror of the Kerblam incident, the intergalactic mall had cheered Yasmin up a bit.

But she had more on her mind than Kerblam, and no amount of retail therapy would be able to get it off her mind.

Back on Earth, when her mother asked if she and the Doctor were dating, Yasmin instantly threw up her defences - The Doctor was an incredible source of happiness and excitement in her life, sure, but they were just good friends. And if she had to define their relationship past that point, she would have justified it as being "above" petty human romance - she was a part of a small, select group of people who had been chosen to wander the universe and travel through time. That privilege, in theory, should have trumped the urge for romance in Yasmin's eyes - just along for the ride, but what a ride it was.

But she had come to terms with her growing attachment to the Doctor. And as the Doctor had continued to dart for her hand in times of danger, and as she broke down each threat in a way where Yasmin could put the pieces in place herself, the feeling had only been growing over time.

She didn't know if the Doctor was treating her like this out of some latent attraction, or if it was because Ryan and Graham had each other to look out for and she didn't have someone like that - all things considered, she had no idea if she was misreading the situation. But there was no denying it - Yasmin had feelings for the Doctor. And until she took some kind of action, she couldn't see these feelings dying down any time soon.

~~~

"Hey, Doctor! Got a minute?"

The Doctor looked up from the TARDIS console and waved over at Yasmin.

"Yaz, c'mere! We're passing through the Nexoris system!"

Yaz walked over, and the Doctor grabbed her hands - making her heart jump unexpectedly.

"Ready?"

Yaz nodded. The Doctor softly lowered her hands down onto the console of the TARDIS, and she felt some erratic, stirring vibrations.

"These are the songs of the Nexoris," The Doctor began, "an advanced race of aliens that had begun to incorporate cybernetics into their bodies. They were coming along quite nicely, actually, b'cause their DNA was actually quite compatible with metal and circuitry - y'don't see that every day, let me tell ya!"

Yasmin shifted uncomfortably, feeling the warmth from the Doctor's hands clasped over her own.

"So what's this singin' business, then? What are you showing me here?"

"Ah, yes - even more interesting than the metal DNA!" The Doctor chirped up as she wandered over to the other side of the TARDIS. Ryan and Graham took notice of the situation and began to listen in.

After a few seconds, a holographic screen projected out of the central stone of the TARDIS. The screen depicted a field of colourful orbs shooting light at each other.

"The Nexoris were sacked for their plentiful resources, you see - but instead of being massacred by the invading race, they turned themselves into these singing orbs that you see here. They were able to use the ample amount of light radiation that proliferates from their sun and weaponize it to defend themselves, and they drove off the invaders!"

Yaz looked out over the field of orbs. Each one containing a life, locked inside a shell - presumably never being able to turn back.

The Doctor seemed to detect her unease, and came back around to where she was standing.

"Other races have been converted to cybernetics and weaponised, or they've lost what makes them... 'human', if you will. But the Nexoris have managed to ascend to a new state of being, and they live in harmony to this day! The universe's first enlightened cybernetic race, living forever and singing their song across the cosmos - succeeding where so many other races have failed."

The visuals, coupled with the feeling of their song vibrating through the TARDIS and the Doctor's explanation of their history, was too much for Yasmin to take in all at once. The Doctor turned towards her with wonder in her eyes as Yaz retreated.

"The universe doesn't have many stories like this, Yaz - most of the time things go right pear-shaped. I thought it was a nice bit of trivia to share!"

Yasmin nodded as she backed away. "It is - proper interestin', Doctor. Thanks for sharin'."

And with few other words, Yasmin retreated from the console room.

~~~

"Hey, you okay?"

Yaz looked up from the ground to see Ryan standing over her.

"Yeah. I'm just a bit... I dunno what the word is. I feel a bit off."

"Maybe you ate something you shouldn't have," Ryan chuckled. Yaz curled up a bit tighter.

"Hey, c'mon now Yaz. Just throwing a bit of alien humor at you," Ryan said as he lowered himself down to sit next to her.

Yaz smiled. "I do like a bit of alien humor."

Ryan flashed a quick grin. "There's that million-dollar Yaz smile we all know and love."

After Ryan was settled, he turned towards Yasmin.

"So, what's got you upset?"

"I... It's nothin', really," Yaz stated in a weaker cadence than she had intended. "It's just... space emotions or somethin', y'know? Dealing with what we're doin' out here."

"Aye, I get that. Took me a week or two to get used to things, but I reckon I'm settled now."

Yaz let go of her legs and let them fall.

_Ryan's already settled... and Graham looks like he's along for the ride, too. Maybe it would be good to tell someone about this, because I won't be able to use this as an excuse for long._

"Hey, Ryan."

"Hmm?"

Yasmin's heart felt like it was going to tear a hole through her chest and run away.

"Can I... tell ya somethin' that's been on my mind?"


	2. Alien World Music

"You're hot for the Doc?! No way!" Ryan grabbed his head as he processed what Yaz had just told him.

Yaz sat still, mortified at Ryan's reaction.

_Oh no, you've really done it now Yaz!_

After taking a second to get it all out, Ryan looked back at Yasmin with a grimace.

"That was a bit insensitive, yeah?"

Yasmin nodded.

"Sorry 'bout that, didn't mean to be rude."

"It's fine, Ryan," Yasmin huffed, "just don't tell Graham or the Doctor. I'm in over me 'ead 'ere!"

"Okay, let's keep this on the down low until you decide what you're gonna do." Ryan put a hand on Yaz's shoulder, and she grabbed it appreciatively.

"Thanks."

The two sat on the floor of the TARDIS for a good while, with Yas telling Ryan about how she began to realise her feelings and how it was getting more difficult to avoid bringing them up.

"...So now I've got a crush on a time-travelling alien lady that picks junkyards and uses a magic wand! And it's like the travelling is fantastic, I never want to give it up - but how am I meant to do that when my heart's goin' after the person taking us along? What if she doesn't feel the same way? I mean it's a whole wide open universe out there, but we spend most of the time in this little box - that'd be right awkward, wouldn't it? D'you think she'd drop me back in She--"

"Yaz! Yaz." Ryan interrupted her with a shoulder ruffle. "Calm down, you're overthinkin' this."

"I know I'm overthinkin' things!" Yaz put her head in her hands. "That's the worst part, I'm well aware of how mental I've been lately! Argh!"

"It's 'right, Yaz - let it all out. I gotcha."

She spent a few minutes cooling down, eventually taking her hands away from her face to take a few deep breaths.

"Sorry about that, I had a bit of an overload."

"S'fine, you sound a bit stressed. Nothin' to worry 'bout," Ryan responded with a jovial nudge. Yasmin smiled as the heat from her red face began to dissipate.

Suddenly, Ryan handed her an earbud.

"Here, listen to this."

Yasmin put the bud in her ear.

The song that was playing was sweeping, with woodwinds that sounded unlike any wind instrument that she'd ever heard on Earth. There was also a low, droning humming that seemed to flow freely through different notes and pitches, like a power converter mixed with a theremin, and a rough, bassy sound that felt like two mountains rubbing together. It left Yasmin feeling a bit unsettled.

"What th' hell is that?"

Ryan chuckled. "It's an alien MP3 player - 5000 of the universe's greatest hits!"

"Wait, seriously? That's what you got with the Doctor's allowance? That's fantastic!" Yasmin burst out laughing.

Ryan couldn't help himself but to join in, and when they stopped to catch their breaths, they had a look through Ryan's new intergalactic music library to see if there were any deep cuts worth listening to.

~~~

As they walked back to the console room, Yasmin steeled herself for what was to come. Speaking with Ryan had helped to clear her mind, and if she was going to keep travelling with the Doctor, she had to address how she felt.

When they arrived, Graham noticed them and waved them over.

"Hey, d'you reckon you kids could help me with this Alexa business?"

Ryan walked over first. "Graham, you've got an iPhone. That's Siri, not Alexa - and how would you even have reception out 'ere?"

Graham held his phone out so that Ryan and Yasmin could see it.

"Well, y'see, I was thinking that if I managed to get Alexa - or Siri, or whatever this is - to connect to some alien wi-fi, then maybe I could track down that alien fruit they used in my ice cream!"

Ryan looked at Graham like he hadn't said a single coherent word.

"See, what I was thinkin'," Graham continued despite the look of disbelief on Ryan's face, "is that maybe I can get my hands on some seeds and maybe grow me own alien fruit plant! Can you imagine the reaction back at home? Graham O'Brian - bus driver, grand-dad, alien horticulturalist!"

"I don't think the seeds would take to Earth's soil, Graham," The Doctor interjected as she made her way around the TARDIS console. "Sensiatuvo fruit trees are notoriously hard to grow without the proper PH level, temperature and mineral level. There are whole terraformed farming planets dedicated to growing them, y'know!"

Graham looked over to the Doctor with a hint of betrayal in his voice.

"Wait, hold on Doc - you knew the name of the fruit this whole time? After I've been shouting at my phone for the last half hour?"

The Doctor turned around with a handful of wires in each hand.

"I've never seen anyone use an Alexa before--"

"Siri," Ryan corrected.

"--Or Siri, for that matter!" The Doctor yanked on a few wires, causing a rain of sparks to come out of the TARDIS console. "I was hoping to see early 21st century voice-activated tech, for the record - I was rootin' for you!"

Graham clicked his tongue as he put his phone away.

"Yeah, thanks Doc."

The Doctor seemed to fix whatever issue had been bugging her with the console, and she headed for a corridor out of the control room.

_Well... I reckon it's now or never._

"Hey, Doctor! Could I speak to you for a bit?"

Ryan shot Yasmin a surprised stare. Yasmin replied with a self-assured smile.

"Sure thing Yaz - I've just got some stuff to pick up from a supply closet over here. Walk with me?"

"Be right over!" Yasmin called back.

As she headed over to where the Doctor had gone, she felt a tap on her arm.

"Hey, Yaz? Good luck."

Yasmin smiled at Ryan's words of encouragement.

"Thanks, Ry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm worried that I'm getting a little OOC, the initial premise was pretty much just The Doctor and Yasmin with Ryan and Graham off to the side. It's cool, though - I like Ryan being a confidante and good friend of Yaz in her time of need. Look at how they bond in Rosa, or in The Ghost Monument - so I like writing them as friends like this, rekindling a friendship based on vaguely knowing each other in school.
> 
> I had planned to get to the meat of the story in this chapter too, but I like dialogue and characterisation too much. I also thought that it would be a waste not to bring up Ryan's alien MP3 player again. A story element that I think I'm gonna leave out is that Billy Joel, of all musicians, has a song on the music player  
> (And So It Goes) that's sort of melancholy - kind of like turning the story into a songfic. Like idk, I like Billy Joel, but it's kind of funny to think of him being our musical ambassador on a music collection that includes like an alien theremin mountain symphony.
> 
> I was kicking myself at setting this story between Kerblam and The Witchfinders - the original line in Yaz's ramble about the Doctor was "...so now I've got a crush on a time-travelling alien lady that picks junkyards and eats dirt!" The "magic wand" reference is a compromise that still looks wrong with this story being set before The Witchfinders, but the sonic is absolutely used like a magic wand before they ran into the witch hunts - so imo it's not that radical of an extrapolation to make.
> 
> Next chapter should be good - I hope you guys enjoy it! And thank you all for the kudos!! This is my most popular story on AO3, and probably other platforms as well - and I've been writing fanfiction since I was 12! Thank you all so much for expressing so much interest already, it really means a lot to me.


	3. Tea and Biscuits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning: this is going to be a long chapter without many breaks. I would suggest loading it into a text to speech program - that's how I've been consuming fanfiction lately, it's like a slightly off podcast about your favorite characters.
> 
> When I mention the "meat of the story" in the last two chapters, this is what I mean. The Thasmin starts now - but that doesn't mean that there won't be surprises along the way.

"So, what's on yer mind, Yaz?"

The Doctor was calling out from a dark room. Yasmin couldn't see a thing inside, but it sounded like a pretty spacious room judging by the clanging that was echoing out into the hallway.

"Well, it was just, uhh... something personal that I needed to get off me chest."

The Doctor popped out from behind the doorway with a colander on her head, startling Yasmin.

"Oh, is this 'girl talk' or somethin'? I've been wondering about that - never been a part of it meself. Doesn't mean I never tried t'be, though!"

Yasmin shook her head with a smile on her face. For all of her competent plans and dashing rescues, Yasmin couldn't help but be delighted at how absolutely mad the Doctor was.

"No, it's not gossip or anything like that. It's something that's a little more... personal."

"Oh, is it time sickness?" The Doctor fumbled around her coat in search of something. "I think I've got some geo-chronological stabilisers floating around here somewhere..."

"No, Doctor, it's just... I need to tell you something." Yasmin swallowed hard, already starting to choke on the words she wanted to say.

The Doctor hummed. She tilted her head, causing the colander to tilt precariously off of her noggin.

"So it's somethin' that you don't want Graham or Ryan to hear... so it kinda-sorta might be girl-talk?"

Yasmin sighed and took a deep breath.

"It... it's something that I need you to hear. Specifically you, I mean."

The Doctor took the colander off and threw it back into the room, making a large crash.

"Sure thing, Yaz - I'm all ears! Well, I'm only a little bit ears, don't think I've seen anyone who's well and truly _all_ e--"

"I like you, Doctor!" Yasmin interrupted, forcing the words out before she could hold them back. The air went still for a small moment, with the words sinking into the atmosphere as the Doctor processed what Yasmin had just said.

A big, goofy grin soon sprouted across her face.

"That's fantastic, Yaz!"

Yasmin was taken aback at the enthusiastic response.

"Y-you what?"

"Fantastic!" The Doctor jumped out of the room that she had been rummaging through, landing on both feet in front of Yasmin. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that!"

The words didn't feel real to Yasmin as they began to sink in.

"R-really? Really, really?"

"Of course!" The Doctor beamed. "We were friends before - but now we've got to be best friends, right? That's a lot of responsibility!"

_Best friends._

"...Wait, hold on a sec." It slowly sank in to Yasmin that her statement might have been a bit too broad. "You mean like... best friends, best friends? Like... friends, still?"

"Well, you, Ryan and Graham are all my friends, is how I see it. But no-one's come around just to tell me how much they like me - so I reckon you and me would be best friends now, wouldn't ya say?"

"D-Doctor..." The euphoric cobwebs that had taken up residence in Yaz's mind began to come loose, and she had to take a moment to shake them out. "No, I... I didn't mean it like that."

The Doctor took a second to slow down, and saw the hurt look on Yasmin's face. Her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, and another possible meaning came through into her mind.

"...Oh. You, err... y'meant _that_ kind of 'like'. Like, 'fancy' like."

Yasmin nodded. The Doctor opened her mouth, then closed it as the situation made itself abundantly clear. Yasmin's mood began to plummet as the air in the hallway became stagnant.

The Doctor's response took an awkward moment to manifest, but it came swiftly once she had gotten her bearings.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry, Yaz! I didn't mean to brush y'off or anythin' like that!"

Yasmin looked up to see The Doctor coming forward for a hug. With a hearty "C'mere, you," The Doctor scooped her up. The draping corners of her coat swished past Yasmin's ankles, bringing a bit of the Doctor's body heat with them.

Yasmin didn't know what to make of the situation. With things still being up in the air like they were, she couldn't say that she felt relaxed - but even if the moment wasn't necessarily perfect, Yasmin could at least say that she found the hug to be very nice.

Soon after, The Doctor pulled away and patted Yasmin on the shoulders.

"Here, c'mon now. Let's go an' have a chat about this."

~~~

The Doctor led Yasmin to what looked like a fancy sitting room. There was a comfy, plush-looking lounge chair, with a full length lounge sitting perpendicular to it. There was a low, rectangular coffee table in front of the lounge and a hexagonal stand occupying a nook between the chair and the lounge.

After sitting Yasmin down on the chair, the Doctor got up and went to what looked like a stone bench. It was craggy and dim like the console room, but with flat indentations that naturally served as counter tops.

Not too long afterwards, she returned with two cups of tea and a plate of biscuits - Kingstons, milk biscuits and ginger snaps on one half of the plate, and custard creams on the other half.

"Wow, that was fast. I didn't even hear the kettle boiling." Yasmin picked up her tea and took a quick temperature test. Sure enough, it was piping hot.

A fond smile spread across the Doctor's face as she sat down on the lounge. "Thermal heating - the TARDIS has picked up a bunch of new tricks since last time." Picking her own tea up, and nabbing a custard cream, she continued - "She's pretty brilliant like that."

Yasmin looked over at the Doctor.

"The TARDIS did this? Like, developed a way to make tea without a kettle, on its own whim?"

The Doctor nodded, letting her head lull to the side.

"Oh Yaz, the TARDIS - she has a mind of her own, let me tell you. Y'know, I met 'er in person once - landed on a rogue asteroid, and this awful sort tried to take her apart. But she managed to escape - at least her 'self' did, not her body - and we went on an adventure t--"

It was stupefying that the Doctor could say such wonderful, whimsical stories like this like they were second nature, and yet Yaz could barely follow a word of it while having such a good time listening. It was a part of why she liked The Doctor in the first place - she had the most insane and nonsensical tangents that Yaz had ever heard, and it felt nice to be taken away on little flights of fancy like this.

After the Doctor had said her fill and finished her biscuit, she put her tea down.

"So, Ms. Yasmin Khan. I believe we have a matter to discuss?"

Yasmin took a second to come back to reality.

"Y-yeah. I wanted to talk about some feelings I've been having recently. About you."

The Doctor smiled.

"And you sought me out to let me know. Must have been a bit scary."

All of the tension that had been built up dissipated at once, and Yasmin felt the load on her back lighten.

"You've got no idea, Doc. Things have been getting harder to process over time, and it's just come to a head. Ryan's the reason why I felt comfortable coming to you with this - this situation was only going to get worse, and telling him about it helped me feel like it was time to open up to you."

Yasmin took a sip of her tea as the Doctor mulled over her words.

"So you've had these sorts of feelings for a while, then?"

Yasmin nodded. "I think I started to notice them back in Sheffield, when we were facin' those giant spiders. My mum asked if we were dating, and the idea had never really sprung up - but you seemed pretty unfazed by the idea, and I already thought that you were pretty amazin'. Just absolutely tops, y'know. Not even in a romantic way, just..."

As Yasmin searched for the right way to phrase to use, the Doctor grabbed another custard cream to dip in her drink. Making some brief eye contact, the Doctor motioned for Yaz to continue.

"...At first, I admired how you got us into space and kept us alive. It's not every day you meet someone with a time machine, after all - anyone would be amazed by that! I thought I was just happy being able to see the stars, y'know - that alone is an incredible privilege. And time travel, too! We met Rosa Parks, we did! All thanks to you!"

"We certainly did meet Rosa Parks, didn't we?" The Doctor smiled through a mouthful of biscuit.

"So," Yaz continued, "I was content with my lot. You're not a human, so I thought that maybe romantic feelings were 'beneath' you or somethin' like that. But as far back as our trip home to Sheffield, I couldn't help but see something amazin' and beautiful about you, and even if it was selfish, I couldn't help but... fall for you, just a little."

Yasmin could barely believe the words that she was saying, and her face began to heat up as she got to her point. The Doctor smiled supportively at her - free of condescension, judgement or pity.

Yaz took a deep breath.

"And... that's where we're at right now. Me spillin' me guts to you, because I reckon you're lovely. And because I couldn't go another day without sayin' so."

Yasmin's face was almost on fire as the last few words slipped past her lips.

_Okay, you've made yer point Yaz! Stop telling her about how much you fancy 'er! You're just digging yerself a deeper hole, here! "You couldn't go another day without telling 'er"?! What are ya sayin'?! Listen to yerself!!_

The Doctor sat back, an unreadable expression on her face. It wasn't necessarily the worst case scenario, but Yasmin couldn't even begin to imagine what the Doctor might say in response to her feelings. Yasmin put her burning face in her hands as she waited for the Doctor's response.

It would be after a handful of false starts, and another sneaky custard cream, before the Doctor broke her silence.

"That's very sweet of you, Yaz. Tellin' someone that you fancy them is a big step to take, and I have nothin' but respect for you and your feelings. I want you to know that."

_"I want you to know that."_

_No._

The Doctor balled her hands up in her lap as she continued.

"I need to make something extremely clear about me, Yaz. Y'see, I'm... older than I look. Much, much older. You saw me when I had only been around for a few hours, and you've seen me grow into this face over a couple of weeks."

Yaz shot a hurt stare over at the Doctor.

"So you're too old for me, then? That's what you're sayin'?"

The Doctor sighed.

"...Yaz, if that was a factor, even Graham would be too young for me."

A part of Yasmin wanted to storm out and cry - that part told her that the Doctor was lying through her teeth. That face couldn't be older than... 30, 40, 60 at the absolute most! That was ridiculous - in any other situation, this would be the most insulting rejection Yasmin had ever faced. Older than Graham - seriously?

But Yaz had also seen a warrior alien with a face covered in teeth, and a pregnant bloke, and she'd seen a terrorism plot that involved explosive bubble wrap. And it was all after falling into the Doctor's world.

As twisted as it sounded, the common sense part of Yasmin's brain was telling her that the Doctor was being honest.

For a moment, Yasmin wasn't sure if she could be trusted to make an objective call on the matter. So instead of ruminating on it to a deeper degree, she nodded in the Doctor's direction to hear what else she had to say - if only to hear her out.

"I need to let you know, Yaz," the Doctor shifted to have a better line of sight with her, "I'm an alien being - I've got well over 2,000 years under me belt. Two whole millenia - that's a pretty significant chunk of human history. And I've lived it, one day at a time."

Yasmin shifted in her seat as she took in what the Doctor was saying.

"...That's a lot of time to be on your own."

The Doctor's confidence trailed.

"...And that's another thing I wanted to tell you." Her eye contact wavered momentarily. "I've had friends like you, Ryan and Graham, Yaz. I've loved some of them - like proper fancied them."

The Doctor pulled back, retreating into herself a bit.

"They... aren't in my life any more. Sometimes by happenstance, sometimes by choice - but sometimes, by accident."

Yasmin's eyes widened.

"You've... lost someone?"

The remorse that flashed across the Doctor's face knocked Yasmin for a loop - she'd never seen the Doctor look so upset, even for a fleeting moment.

"Yes, Yaz." She broke eye contact as she spoke. "I've lost more people than I'd like to admit. Lovers, partners. Children."

The Doctor glanced back over to Yasmin.

"Grandchildren."

The mood had taken a turn for the dour, with Yasmin sitting in stunned silence - dealing with her own wounded pride, as well as with the information that the Doctor had just layered on.

"...I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't know."

The Doctor flashed her an apologetic smile.

"S'fine, Yaz. You couldn't have possibly known. I'm sorry to have dropped it on you out of nowhere."

She looked away again, with shadows of memories past lingering just beneath the surface of her eyes.

"But I needed to let you know - I've got a lot on my plate, as a person. And if I were to just throw caution to the wind, with everything that I've just told you, it wouldn't be fair to you and it wouldn't be fair to the memory of the people I've loved before."

The Doctor got up, taking her empty teacup with her to the stone bench from before. Yasmin had a look at her own - there was still a good half-cup of tea left, but she didn't think that she could finish it.

Taking her cup and the plate of biscuits - of which, only the custard creams appeared to have been touched - Yasmin joined the Doctor at the counter.

The Doctor looked over at Yasmin, who smiled weakly.

"Thanks for sharin', Doctor. That must have been hard for you, and I appreciate the honesty."

Before the Doctor had a chance to react, Yasmin opened her arms and wrapped her up in a warm hug.

Comforted, and a bit pleased at the affection, the Doctor wrapped her arms around Yasmin and reciprocated her hug.

"I only ever want to be honest with you, Yaz," The Doctor whispered into her hair. "Thanks for understanding."

"No problem, Doctor."

Neither Yasmin or the Doctor knew what to properly make of the situation. They had both bared their souls to one another, and while Yasmin hadn't made the progress that she had been hoping for, the experience was very uplifting - she wasn't embarrassed, and she didn't feel like she had been left out to dry.

But the Doctor's story still stuck with her. And with how personal and intimate their conversation had been, she felt a jumble of conflicting emotions - with her respect of the Doctor's choice and admiration of her honesty fighting a vicious battle with the butterflies in her stomach.

The Doctor was unsure about how she felt, herself. It felt nice being so open with a friend, but that openness had been exercised in a way to prevent Yasmin's emotions from becoming too intimate - and while she didn't regret sharing the details that she had discussed, a part of her felt bad about squashing a crush like she had tried to do. It almost felt cruel, in some ways - but there was a list of names that paraded through the Doctor's mind in response to Yasmin's enquiry, and it only steeled her resolution as they continued to swirl around her brain.

But even as uncertainty and conflicting emotions roared throughout the minds of both Yasmin and the Doctor, there was a common thought between them.

Even if their conversation hadn't been ideal for everyone, even if the feelings shared were heavy and unwieldy and had a chance of rearing up again in time - potentially making things worse - and even if they had experienced unpleasantness in the short time that they had privately spoken with each other...

Both Yasmin and the Doctor could at least say that this hug, that they were both wrapped up in, was very nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the Doctor's rejection has made you feel upset, then I would like to reassure you that the story isn't over yet! That's all I'll say - things may look bad now, but more is on its way.
> 
> I'm not a big fan of how "busy" I make characters as they talk - I've always been geared more towards dialogue and characterisation, to the point that some of my earliest stories were script fics, and I try to pepper in little actions and quirks for the characters to take part in to help break up the dialogue. Otherwise I would probably just write walls and walls of dialogue like a bad webcomic.
> 
> The first draft of this chapter ended things pretty concretely. There was no way that I could have written Yasmin out of the Doctor's initial conversation, so in a way it's like an alternate ending where chapter 3 is where the ship is sunk. When this story is done, I'll throw it on as a bonus chapter.
> 
> You've weathered the stormiest portion of the story, emotionally speaking - there's nowhere to go from here but up.


	4. Dreaming of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was going to be made up of two distinct scenes, the first half being from Yasmin's perspective and the second half being from the Doctor's. But the chapter would be ridiculously long, and I found a direction that I'm really running with in regards to the Doctor. So here's something of a "bonus" - it's more or less a filler chapter about Yasmin processing her conversation with the Doctor, and thinking back to crushes that she's had in the past.
> 
> I'm also making a few creative choices that might not land with some readers - Yaz is the only character in this chapter, and all of the dialogue is her talking to herself, for starters. I'm honestly a bit nervous as to how you guys will take some of the aspects that I'm introducing. I'll go more into depth in the end notes, as to avoid spoiling anything before you read the chapter, but I hope you enjoy what you read.

It had been a few hours since Yasmin had spoken with the Doctor, and everyone had started to wind down. The Doctor parked the TARDIS on a dormant moon for the "night", and the gang had moved to more of a common room area - with Graham setting up shop on a recliner so that he could get a bit of reading in before bed, and Ryan sitting with his feet up on a couch as he doodled into a notebook.

Yasmin had opted to go straight to bed. It had been a long day, and she had a lot to think about.

_2000 years old, huh... and she's had a family before. Sounds like she's had a few partners in her time, as well - nothin' to get broody about, that's 'er choice, but I wasn't expecting any of this._

Yaz was looking up at the canopy of her four-post bed. It was made of a similar type of metal that coated the TARDIS's walls, but with more of a gentle, rounded aesthetic. It was very solid, better than the creaky wooden bedframe she had as a kid - and it seemed like it had been molded straight up from the floor of the TARDIS, with a small niche at the bottom to simulate the edge of a bed that soon gave way to heavy, immovable metal.

She rolled over, bringing the sheets up over her as she settled in for what could easily end up being a sleepless night.

_What could I have reasonably expected, though? She told us all that she was an alien when we met - I mean, she had the savvy to take care of that Tim Shaw bloke, and I saw 'er build the sonic out of spoons and wire! 'Alien' is a very broad definition - it could mean anythin'. I couldn't have possibly known her history or preferences just by lookin' at 'er, 'specially after what I saw her do back on Earth._

She sighed.

_Still, the cat's out of the bag now. I dunno what I'm gonna do._

As far as Yasmin knew, anything could happen from this point onwards. Maybe the Doctor would start ignoring her, or treat her with kid gloves when they were out in the field. Maybe she'd be paired off with Ryan or Graham more often to prevent any awkwardness. Against her better judgement, her mind also wandered to the possibility that she'd get separated from the group on an alien planet, go looking for the TARDIS and find that everyone else had left her behind.

She shook her head.

_Don't think like that, Yaz - the Doctor would never._

Even with the Doctor turning her down, Yaz had found something positive about their chat to focus on - the Doctor had been so gentle during the whole affair, and Yaz couldn't say that she had ever seen her in such a vulnerable state.

She felt respected, like the Doctor had cared about her and considered her feelings even if she wasn't interested in a relationship. Compared to other romantic rejections that she had experienced in her life, Yaz could easily count this as one of the best.

And even though things were looking bad on the relationship front, Yaz couldn't help but find even more to admire about the Doctor the more she dwelled on their conversation. The way her eyes lit up as she talked about her adventure with the TARDIS - they shone like stars, and made even the most wildly unbelievable stories feel real. And while she had noticed it in the past, the Doctor's love of custard cream biscuits was really endearing - Yaz grinned as she recalled the Doctor nibbling at them throughout their chat.

And while she was thinking about the biscuits - the Doctor clearly had no intention of going for the Kingstons, milk biscuits or ginger snaps. It was nice that she had resisted the temptation to just offer her favorite biscuits - there was variety in the selection that was most likely there on Yasmin's behalf.

_God, I wish I could stop feeling like this - but the Doctor's so nice!_

Yaz threw her sheet off out of frustration.

"Argh! How am I going to get over this?!"

Taking a moment to process her feelings and calm down, Yasmin's mind wandered back to other crushes that she had over the years - if only to think about something, anything, other than how much she liked the Doctor.

The first one that popped up was Jared Cusher in Year 3 - he had sat next to her during her in-class birthday party and they ate cake together. It was more of a play crush, of course - when they were separated into different classes the following year, Yaz moved on without a sweat. It was a cute moment of her childhood that never failed to put a smile on her face.

The first big crush she had was on Brad Peterson in Year 8 - he was on the football team, and his leg muscles were particularly defined. Yasmin spent a good few classes thinking about him instead of doing schoolwork, and she had defaced a significant amount of her school books with drawings and writing about him - some of it not entirely savoury.

But that crush got knocked completely out of her sails when his cousin, Jenny, relocated to Sheffield High from London.

Good genes must have run in the family, because in Yasmin's clouded, distracted opinion from Year 8, Jenny Peterson was sex on legs. Both Brad and Jenny had their appeal - but something about Jenny just knocked Yasmin for a loop in a way that Brad couldn't quite live up to. Long hair that was dyed way too red, confidence in spades and a stature that screamed "I could crush you" - Yaz was smitten.

Jenny's entrance into Yasmin's life was what led to her realising her fondness for women - not exclusively, but to a degree where she definitely preferred them over men. And the best part is that Jenny was into women as well - she dated a few girls while she was in high school, and a part of Yaz wanted nothing more than to run up to her and make herself available as loudly and unambiguously as possible.

She was sure that Ryan would have been surprised, at least back then - he was used to her talking about Brad, and even made Brad jokes long after she had calmed down about him.

Looking back, Yaz thought that she might have had the confidence to ask her out at some points in her schooling career - at least, if it hadn't been for Izzy Flint. The bullying that she endured that year had an unfortunate effect on her self esteem, and as much as Yaz fancied the idea of asking someone out, her ultimate thought was that it would add more fuel to Izzy's fire - especially if it was another girl.

And the worst part is that even after Izzy had stopped her campaign of harrassment, Yaz never ended up talking to Jenny a whole lot. Not even at the occasional party they'd see each other at - which Yasmin still regarded as her biggest mistake from her high school years. Sure, she had been attracted to other girls at times - even the odd bloke or two - but those crushes tended to dash against the rocks when it came to Jenny Peterson.

Though much like the Doctor's rejection, this tale had a somewhat happy ending. Jenny ended up settling down with a punk-rock-looking girl named Eliza, and they actually stayed the distance - which softened the blow a little. Yaz occasionally saw family pictures of them with their daughter on Facebook, up until the day she met the Doctor.

The Doctor.

Yasmin's heart jumped a little as she snapped back to the present.

_And now we're back at the beginnin'._

Yasmin let the conflicting emotions stir inside her for a while - taking a second to turn off her mind and feel what was going on in her stomach. The Doctor was still on her mind, but Yaz was also comparing how she felt about Jenny, and even Brad - letting it all mix together and radiate throughout her body.

Rather than let everything flood her mind and frustrate her, Yasmin took the time to reminisce and process how she felt - taking the time to properly express and sort out the different intensities of her emotions as she laid in bed. It was cleansing, being able to let herself go and bask in emotions that had been repressed or dormant. It was warm - nicely so.

The heat from all of this was radiating from her face, and as it wound down, Yaz felt herself getting sleepy. Having gotten the opportunity to express her feelings to both Ryan and the Doctor, and having the time to properly process how she felt in the wake of these confessions, there was a sense of peace to how she felt - accepting of her circumstances, and ready to move on. Not without a hint of lingering attraction, of course - but she could at least accept things as they were.

Yasmin rolled over as her eyelids sagged, ready to take her off to sleep.

_She's no Jenny Peterson, I'll admit - but I think I've connected more to the Doctor in these past couple of months than I ever did with Jen._

Yawning, she scooped her blanket up with both hands and brought it close to her.

_She's still pretty lovely, I reckon. But if this is how things are going to be, then I reckon I'm going to be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes:
> 
> If I was going to sink the ship, this would be the perfect opportunity to do so. But like I mentioned in the notes at the start of the chapter, there's a whole other chapter with the Doctor in production - so this isn't where I planned to end things, and I still don't plan to end them like this. So to anyone who feels cheated or hard done by with how I've handled this chapter - the story's still going. It's just taking a few twists and turns along the way.
> 
> Now, to address the elephant in the room - my decision to make Yasmin bisexual. This is the creative decision that I'm the most nervous about, because I'm worried that some readers may see it as me backpedaling and going "she's not totally gay!" - because that would be completely antithetical to the story that I'm trying to write here.
> 
> First of all - whatever orientation that you headcanon Yaz as, whether you think she's 100% gay, or pansexual, or whether you view her through a heterosexual lens and pair her up with Ryan or Graham or any other number of blokes from Doctor Who's long and storied history - that's completely valid to how you see things. This is fanfiction after all, this is our personal interpretations of these characters and there's not necessarily a "right" or "wrong" way to do that. My decision to go with more of a bi vibe is because I'm bisexual myself, and I thought that introducing a bit of unexpected romantic variety would be an interesting way to take things.
> 
> My interpretation is meant to put Yaz somewhere between a 4 or a 5 on the Kinsey scale, and whether she's had feelings for guys in the past or not, the Doctor is her current target of affection - she's the person who Yasmin is most interested in at the moment. Being bisexual doesn't change how much Yaz likes the Doctor.
> 
> I began writing Yaz's attraction to this Jenny character without even thinking about the Paternoster Gang - it didn't occur to me that the name has been in New Who before, nevermind as recently as it has been. To make things more interesting, the girl who Jenny eventually settles down with was going to be named Liz, as a reference to the webcomic Lollipup and Lemonhead - but when I came across the identity of Yaz's bully from The Witchfinders, Izzy Flint, I felt like Liz was too similar to that name. So ends the story of my accidental reference to Madame Vastra and Jenny.
> 
> Next chapter is Doctor-centric - and then after that, there should be a double-length chapter tying all the loose ends together and bringing my story to a close! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter as well. Ciao!


	5. Facing the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's left kudos, bookmarked and left comments on this story! I was really nervous last chapter, and I got some super nice comments that really put my fears to bed. Thank you guys so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.
> 
> Enjoy!

As Team TARDIS slept in preparation of a brand new day, the Doctor kept herself busy in a bedroom that she had since converted into a partial art studio.

She did sleep at times - of course - but this new body had energy in spades compared to the last one and the Doctor felt like using it. She had been burning it up in all sorts of creative ways - painting, line-reading entire plays to herself, bicycling (thank goodness for the on-board cycling hall) - and on this particular night, she had decided to paint "the good old-fashioned way".

The Doctor held out her thumb, getting a sense of scale in her picture, as the slightly-too-big beret on her head slid backwards. Grumbling, she grabbed it in one hand and tossed it aside.

"I swear, nothing fits properly after a regeneration! Which one of me had the giant noggin?"

The beret was quickly forgotten as she returned to her painting. She had been working on it for the last two weeks - taking a break in the middle to suspend herself from the ceiling and drip paint onto a large canvas. "Pollock had the right idea," she sighed wistfully as she returned to detail duty on her current piece.

It wasn't long until the painting was finished. The Doctor held it up proudly, and with a beaming smile on her face, she went to place it next to the other portraits that she had painted.

Hanging it up, she stood back with her hands on her hips.

"That one turned out nicely! I'm proud as punch - very good work, if I do say so myself."

Once she had taken in the sight, the Doctor stepped away from the newly painted portrait of Clara Oswald and collected her equipment. Once the brushes were left to soak and her palette was washed off, she took a seat near the wall of her bedroom/art studio and began to unwind.

The portrait of Clara was the latest in a series of pictures she had been painting. Some of them were done very hastily, being completed in days or even hours, with the Doctor preferring the rushed, unfinished look for some of them. Others, like the portrait of Clara, took a bit longer.

The Doctor had been painting her previous companions. She tended to go for the more recent ones, with her knack for detail beginning to dull the further back she remembered. The oldest picture was an interpretive portrait of her grand-daughter Susan, and there was a large gap between her and the next few.

The Doctor had dabbled in styles - K-9 had been done in the style of Cubism, while her portrait of Captain Jack Harkness was painted with surrealist imagery in mind, with his eyes being replaced by clock faces and a banana with a trigger being present in the top pocket of his jacket. It was the latter half of the project that she was focusing on tonight, as Yasmin's confession swam through her mind.

_"I like you, Doctor!"_

The Doctor took a second to let her defences fall, rubbing her temples in exhaustion.

_I appreciate it, y'know, but... I just can't._

It was here, surrounded by the faces of her previous friends, that the Doctor felt the most comfortable justifying her reasoning. It was their memory, after all, that she was trying to respect - and Yasmin's life that she was looking out for, in a way that she might have neglected to for her other companions.

She directed her eyes towards her picture of Rose. The Doctor had painted her face with watercolour paint, before painting long-stemmed roses around the border of the canvas.

_Parallel universe. Left her there with her dad and a copy of me. Nearly killed her in the process, an' it's a miracle that she survived at all._

Her eyes shifted over to Captain Jack.

_I turned him into an abomination, and spent two entire lifetimes trying to avoid him. Left him on Earth to live out his eternal lifespan._

She couldn't help but remember how Jack had kissed her older, post-Time-War face - in the context of her current dilemma, it managed to sneak in before she could stop it.

_Never did date him, though - not surprising, considering the guilt. Though I have to say, if I did... that would be a power couple that the universe would never be ready for._

Smiling faintly, she looked over at Martha. She had tried cross-hatching with this picture, creating a very stylish and distinct profile of her face and hair.

_I treated her like a replacement for Rose, and she became a soldier at UNIT because of her time with me. Not my proudest moment - but she's done rather well for herself. As long as she's happy, I'm happy._

Next was Donna. She had done some preliminary sketching on this one, and began painting her hair - but the memory of what happened to Donna was as painful as always, so the Doctor had left it in an incomplete state.

_I showed her the universe, and then ripped it all out of her head. Against her will, too - even if it was to save her life._

Amy and Rory had been done in thick, black strokes - with the rough texture of the black lines contrasting with the bright white canvas to create detail. She was particularly proud of this one.

_Amy Pond... I failed you and Rory, but you never once blamed me. At least you lived a long and happy life together. Even so, though - you both deserved better than you got._

The last one before Clara's painting was the Doctor's wife and occasional time-traveller - River Song. The Doctor had used pigments from all over the known universe, using the dirt from a dozen ancient planets to depict River's visage - rubbing it into the canvas with her fingers.

_Not without its dramas, but I reckon you were probably the cleanest break. It was hard - but I knew how it ended from day one, and it was ultimately our destiny. As much as I would've liked to, I couldn't save you from that._

The Doctor sighed as she remembered the last night she spent with River - of course, she wasn't "she" yet, not at the time. 27 years wasn't a bad run - but losing someone precious is still an upsetting event, regardless of how much time passes before you have to say goodbye - and it flared up again as she remembered the woman who she had called her wife.

_We'll always have the Singing Towers of Darilium, you and me - and there's not a library in the universe that doesn't remind me of you. Love you lots._

The Doctor felt her paintings staring back at her - on a particularly bad day, she might have felt like they were judging her, like she had trapped herself in an emotional prison of her own creation.

But today was not that day.

The Doctor's eyes settled on her most recent picture - a portrait of Clara Oswald done in basic acrylic paint, using an easel, palette board and basic set of paint brushes. The only twist is that she had gone for a rendition of Clara's face that was as true-to-life and accurate as she could portray.

While her memories of Clara had been returned, the Doctor spent a long time without them - and with her own memories of Clara as well as Clara's memories of the Doctor thanks to the Testimony, things got a bit confusing if she thought about Clara too much. As such, the Doctor wasn't entirely sure if she had accurately captured Clara's likeness.

Were her eyes always that far apart, or was the Doctor worried about her potential extrapolation of the closeness of her eyes creating an unflattering caricature of the girl? Unclear details and petty doubts dotted the painting, giving the Doctor something to think about as she looked at it - but in its own way, the Doctor found that aspect of the artwork appealing.

_She was the mysterious girl, after all - a riddle wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a conundrum. An absolute paradox, and a good friend... and ultimately, not a very good influence on me as a person._

The Doctor frowned as she remembered the acts she had perpetuated in Clara's name - before changing her line of thought completely, remembering the dark path that awaited her if she delved into that chapter of her history.

_Though maybe I was the bad influence, in the end._

It was this portrait that gave the Doctor the most pause - a testament to her own shortcomings, a depiction of the best of intentions tainted by hypocrisy and greed.

It was on this note that she thought about Yasmin - a girl who the Doctor had seen as a friend from the get go, one of the first faces that her face saw. An ally and a friend who had helped her find her new self, to establish and stand by her age-old code and fill her new life with humor, affection and love.

Love.

Ultimately, isn't that what her friends meant to her?

The Doctor blinked.

"Y'know, if I had an interdimensional telephone that could call anyone throughout all possible times and realities... what d'you think my former companions would say to me?"

The Doctor's eyes darted back towards Rose.

_"You know I love you, Doctor - but it's time to move on. I've got you, in a sense, but there'll never be a way that you could have me. So... be happy, is what I'm saying. Don't close yourself up and be lonely."_

The Doctor set her sights on Clara next.

_"Hello, you - didya miss me? ...Silly question, I think we both know the answer to that one. We had our fun, and maybe it got a bit out of hand near the end - but it was fun, and it's over now. Even if I'm still kicking about the stars thanks to you, my life is at its end and so is our relationship. But don't be sad about it - remember what I always used to say?"_

"Run, you clever boy - and remember."

The Doctor grinned as the phrase left her lips - a bit tickled at how the phrase had aged, but moreso grateful that she was able to recall the phrase at all. Run, and remember - but run. "That's a rather good outlook to have," the Doctor mused.

Finally, the Doctor set her gaze upon her depiction of River.

_"We had our last dance, Doctor - twenty seven years worth of dancing. You know where I am, and you know where things have ended - and so do I. Do you think I would be so cruel, confining you to a lifetime of mourning in my absence? Especially with all the husbands that I took while you were gone?"_

The Doctor smirked.

_"See? Now that's a look that suits you better, sweetie."_

She wasn't sure if she was being self-centred with what she was doing, or if she was giving the proper impression of her former loves, but the Doctor couldn't stop herself. Even as voices that she was conjuring in her own ancient, weary head, she was honestly just so happy to be hearing them all again.

 _"The Singing Towers of Darilium aren't all that we had, you know - we ran across strange sunrises and unforgettable sunsets, and we wrote each other's names in the stars. And while it was fun, we both know that our marriage had to end. I knew from the first time I looked at your young, fez-clad face, the guilt and confusion - and now our love has run its course, with you living on and me being put to rest._ "

_"Run, sweetie - and paint a new name in the stars."_

The Doctor's eyes began to well up with tears as the voice finished, and she closed them for a second until the feeling passed.

 _These voices aren't actually you, don't think that I don't know that. Perhaps I'm bein' a bit selfish, puttin' these words in your mouths like I am - but I think I properly know how I feel now_.

The Doctor got up from her chair, her shoulders feeling rather heavy all of a sudden.

_These are the lessons that I learnt from you three - kindness, mindfulness, peace. And while I can sit here and use your memories to torture myself, would you three have wanted me to do that to myself? It might not be my place to say, but in my heart of hearts I don't think you would._

_I love you three, you know that? I wouldn't be who I am without your influences to guide me along. And not just you - Martha, Jack, Amy and Rory... Bill and Nardole, who will be getting their own portraits in time, I promise! You all completed me, and contributed to the better person that I am - and while I let you all down, you all seemed to smile right back regardless and put my mind at ease._

_And while there are wounds that may never fully heal... I think I've finally found peace within myself, and I'm ready to carry your influences with me into the future. And the past. And everywhere in between._

The Doctor started to climb into bed - freezing when she realised that she hadn't taken her smock off - and once she had stripped off any paint-marked article of clothing that she could think of, she hit the mattress hard.

"Huh, exhaustion," The Doctor quipped to herself. "I haven't felt this tired since me first outing in Sheffield."

_Sheffield. Home. Not to me, but to Ryan, Graham and Yaz. A part of a bigger home known as Earth, but maybe the homiest part of the planet - at least to my current face._

_Because that's where my friends live - and that's where Yaz lives, too._

The Doctor sunk into her mattress, looking up at the ceiling with bleary eyes.

_I rather like Sheffield, I reckon._

A comforting thought spread throughout her mind, and as her eyes slid shut, a wide, content smile grew across her face.

_As a matter of fact... I reckon that I rather like Yaz._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't planning to get this in-depth with the Doctor. She was definitely going to reflect on her former companions and come around to the idea of dating Yaz, but it wasn't going to be like a weird thought deep-dive like it ended up being. I'm actually super happy with how this chapter turned out.
> 
> With the Thirteenth Doctor being so bouncy and prone to tangents, I wanted to give her something creative to do - so I went straight to painting, and then that turned into like a companion portrait series for her to do, and things snowballed from there. It was a nice little bit of detail work that I really enjoyed.
> 
> So River, Clara and Rose have their supporters and detractors. Personally I was a fan of Rose as I was growing up, but nowadays I'm not entirely sure about her era of Who - still like her, though! River is a bit rockier for me, but I've come around on her enough to - hopefully - do the Doctor's relationship with her justice.
> 
> Clara was a lot of fun to think about, because even with the Doctor being able to remember her, I felt like it had been such a long time since they had thought about her that some details were a bit wonky. Like when you think about someone who you haven't seen in years, and then you like catch a photo on Facebook or see them in real life and you go "Wow, I was way off!".
> 
> Also, just as an end note, the TARDIS is really fun to write about because even with like the established areas like the library or the pool - and occasionally the pool that takes up residence in the library - you can put in a silly joke like the TARDIS somehow having a full-sized cycling hall tucked away somewhere. The TARDIS is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
> 
> Next chapter might take a while, because it's gonna be the big one! Now that the tables seem to have turned, will The Doctor and Yaz have enough common ground to stay friends? Or will a mutual spark of attraction light the flame to a long and happy relationship? Stay tuned to find out!
> 
> Edit: shout-out to tronja307020 who noticed a gaffe regarding the Doctor's grand-daughter - I wrote her name down as Barbara when her name is actually Susan! Wrong companion, but right era - lol. I just went through and changed the name to Susan, and I'm documenting this in the notes to keep myself accountable. I appreciate the spot, thank you for letting me know! :D


	6. Onwards and Upwards - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter was a bit big, so I decided to cut it in half and post it as two separate chapters. They're both going to be uploaded today - I just thought that it was best to break things up into more manageable chunks, since I couldn't put a whole lot of page breaks in the second half of the chapter.
> 
> Things have gotten a bit more dramatic, and the next chapter is going to have a bit of conflict - I feel like I might have lost the character's voices at this point, and maybe I've stripped out the soul of what I initially set out to create. I don't know. All I know is that I'm setting out to finish what I started, and I hope that you enjoy the ride as this story winds down to a close.
> 
> Don't forget - there's going to be a Part II to this chapter to read once you're done. By all means put it off until later, or do something that you want/need to do before settling in to read it - but if you want to read the thrilling conclusion, please know that it will be out soon.

Yasmin was surprisingly refreshed when she woke up the next morning. It felt like she'd had a good cry, almost - though the act of crying felt like the furthest thing from what she'd done last night.

_Although,_ Yasmin thought, _maybe it's not all that different of a process in the long run._

She had expressed a build-up of emotions by letting them break free and flow through her, allowing herself to properly process them instead of stewing in them. And ultimately, isn't crying a similar process?

Well, tangents and semantics aside, Yasmin felt pretty great. And that's what mattered most to her.

She was soon out of bed, picking her wardrobe for the day and getting ready to shower. The TARDIS had granted each bedroom its own personal shower, thank goodness, and soon Yasmin was ready for another day of adventure.

Ryan waved her over as she left her room.

"Hey, Yaz, look at this!"

Yasmin glanced down at Ryan's alien MP3 player.

"Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Ending Theme from The Lion King"

"What?!" Yasmin gawked in disbelief. "All these songs in the universe, and they went for the Lion King soundtrack?!"

"I know!" Ryan was grinning from ear to ear. "I was listenin' to it last night, found a few really interestin' tracks, and then here comes Elton John outta nowhere! Can you imagine how surprised I was?"

"Good tune, that," Graham said to Ryan as he wandered into his conversation with Yaz. "'Course, I didn't know it was from the Lion King when it came out."

"What, you were unaware of the Lion King?" Ryan snarked. Graham held up his hand in defence.

"Now you hold on with that," Graham shot back. "How old d'you think I was in the 90's? I was a grown man, you wouldn't have seen me wandering into a Disney movie by myself! And the song was a big radio hit--"

"A'ight, Graham, y'made ya point!" Ryan tried to talk Graham down a bit. Yasmin broke away as the two had a bit of a family tiff.

~~~

After having a bit of a wander, Yaz eventually found the Doctor at the TARDIS console - but surprisingly, she wasn't pulling any cranks or fiddling with any trinkets like she usually seemed to be.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor yelled out in surprise and jumped up like a scared cat.

"Agh! Oh, it's you, Yaz - sorry, you gave me a bit of a spook there!"

The Doctor looked... tense. Like she had been mulling something over before being interrupted.

"Sorry about that," Yasmin called out as she made her way over. The Doctor gave her a quick hum, and moved over towards the other side of the console.

The Doctor seemed to absentmindedly fiddle with the TARDIS controls as Yasmin watched, eventually managing to get the TARDIS in flight. The equilibrium of the ship jolted, then stabilised - indicating to Yasmin that they were in more of a light-weight, cruisy flight cycle.

Yasmin peered over at the Doctor as she poked at switches. Her eyes didn't lift from the console, but they didn't seem to be focused on the task at hand.

"So, what's the adventure going to be today?"

The Doctor looked up, a slightly strained expression on her face.

"Well, not much - I was gonna throw open the TARDIS's charge pod doors and get some solar energy, just while we were in this neck of the woods. I reckon she's been runnin' a bit low lately."

A large, wobbling note of sound rang out from the centre of the control room, and the stone in the middle of the console flashed brightly.

"Seems like it's telling you not to worry about that," Yasmin said with a good natured smile. Maybe the TARDIS did have a mind of its own after all.

The Doctor smiled shakily.

"Y-yeah, might have misjudged the power reserves. My bad!"

Yaz moved closer to the Doctor, who seemed to flinch a little.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, absolutely! Top of the world!" The Doctor's reassurance came out faster than Yaz would have expected, before she relocated a bit further along the console. Yaz went to move towards her again, only for the Doctor to shift away.

If she didn't know any better, she would say that the Doctor was avoiding her.

"...You sure you're okay?" Yaz spoke softly as she slowly moved towards the Doctor. "You seem a bit tense right now. An' you keep moving away from me."

"Oh no, everything's fine!" The Doctor had another shaky outburst. "Just doing a round of checks to make sure things are going smoothly! Just got to run some more checks and bal--"

Another loud warping noise echoed from the centre of the TARDIS, and the central stone began to pulse softly.

The Doctor sighed a slow, shuddering breath, stroking the TARDIS console for a second.

"You're right - it's not polite to lie about someone right in front of 'em. Sorry, girl."

Yaz was beyond weirded out at this point.

"Doctor...? What's going on?"

Clenching her hands to steel her resolution, the Doctor looked up to make eye contact with Yaz.

"I... had a bit of a chat with meself last night. I thought more about what you said yesterday, and about how I replied."

She unclenched her fists and shook the tension out of her hands, with the movement making its way all up her arms like she was limbering up for something.

"I've had a good, long think about it, and... there's something that I want to show you. But it's super personal, so I was feeling a bit scared about it. Nothin' bad, I promise, just... nerves."

Yasmin was taken aback at the Doctor's serious demeanor. Even yesterday, during the most serious portions of their talk, she had been smiling and cracking small jokes to keep the mood light - but something seemed to be troubling her, to the point where Yaz could say that she'd never seen the Doctor being this serious within the walls of the TARDIS.

She took a step forward.

"Whatever it is you were thinkin' of showing me, take it at your own pace. Y'don't have to rush anything for my sake, if that's what's got you upset."

As she approached the Doctor, Yasmin took her hands.

"C'mon. There's no use getting all jittery on me, now. Take it easy."

The Doctor took a second to register the warmth of Yaz's hands, looking down at them as they cradled her own. Then, with a more measured energy, she smiled.

"You're right, Yaz. Thanks."

Taking one of Yasmin's hands in a soft grip, the Doctor led her down a corridor into the TARDIS - a corridor that Yasmin had never been down before.

~~~

Their first stop was to a room covered in paint and sheets of clear plastic - with a bed tucked away in the corner somewhere, and a sizable collection of painted artworks displayed on the wall.

The Doctor grinned sheepishly as she led Yasmin inside - she was the first person to see her current art project, and as important as her current time with Yasmin was, she was dying for a reaction.

Yasmin walked over to the first portrait.

"Wow, this is really good, Doctor. Did you paint this?"

The Doctor beamed proudly.

"As a matter of fact, I did!"

Yasmin walked along the range of paintings, taking in the unique details of each portrait. From K-9's unorthodox reinterpretation into Cubism to River's dry-pigment portrayal, she found a wealth of details to appreciate in each one.

Yaz smiled supportively. "These are all really good, Doctor! You wanted to show me your art?"

The Doctor's proud smile faltered a little, still appreciative of Yasmin's praise but unsure of how to breach the next topic.

"I did want to show you - I've been working on these during the nights, while you, Ryan and Graham have been sleeping. Hearing someone praise them is fantastic, not gonna lie!"

The Doctor's energy faded as her nerves began to kick in again - and Yaz noticed.

"...But? There's a 'but', right?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Yeah. These portraits... they're the people I talked about yesterday. The people I've lost."

Yaz took a step back.

"Hold on - so these are all people who've died on-board the TARDIS?"

"No, no!" The Doctor rushed to correct Yaz. "These are all people who I've been friends with - from start to finish, with a few gaps in between."

The Doctor pointed towards the first picture that Yaz had spotted.

"This is my grand-daughter, Susan - she fell in love and left the TARDIS, all the way back before my first regeneration. Though I thought I lost her in the Time War, to be honest - I'm not entirely sure if she's still alive."

The Doctor moved on to Sarah Jane - whose portrait had been done in a sort of pop-art sort of way, with a collage of bright tiles and newspaper clippings.

"This is Sarah Jane Smith, I went to drop her back home in Croydon and accidentally left her in Aberdeen. She made ends meet, though - raised a kid, got a job, lived a full life back on Earth."

Yaz looked over at the Doctor as she moved over to Rose's portrait. Yaz had particularly liked this one - the roses were a nice flourish.

"Rose is one of the women I've loved before."

Yasmin stopped dead in her tracks.

"Y-you what?"

The Doctor stopped herself from going into another short spiel about Rose, and she went over to Yaz.

"Rose is one of the people I've lost. She's one of the reasons I responded in the way that I did yesterday - and so is River, over here."

The Doctor brought Yasmin over to the portrait of River Song.

"River here was my wife. I met her when she already knew who I was - time travel business, very confusing - and I saw her die before I even really knew her. I only recently said goodbye to her, probably for good - knowing full well where she would end up going. And I'm powerless to prevent it from happening."

The Doctor went over to Clara's portrait.

"Clara, here, died trying to be heroic like me. And I did some terrible things to get her back - awful, unnatural things."

Yaz wasn't really sure what to say. It didn't feel nice to say, but she felt like the Doctor had brought her in here to insult her, almost - showing her pictures of the women who she had loved before, a day after she had rejected her.

_Women who she had accepted... to explain why she's rejected me._

Rose and Clara were both very young and pretty, and River had a heavy air of confidence and dignity to her. And while Yaz wouldn't say that she was lacking in either department, the Doctor's detour had left her feeling a bit self conscious regardless.

Reaching the end of her ramble about Clara, the Doctor turned to face Yaz.

"These people were a big reason why yesterday's chat went the way that it did - and I thought it was important to face them like this."

Noticing Yaz's upset expression, the Doctor took a second to plan her next sentence.

"...But, this is only the first stop on the tour. There's a second place to see, and it's super important that we go there next."

The Doctor moved closer to Yaz, who still seemed a bit upset.

"I'm sorry if bringing you here was insensitive, but it's important that we've come here first - the second place I wanted to show you will hopefully make sense of why I brought you here. There's just that one more place to go to, and it's the reason why I was all worked up before."

The Doctor reached down and held Yasmin's hand.

"Yaz - do you trust me?"

With a bit of hesitance, Yaz nodded - to the Doctor's relief.

"Thank you. I'll make sure that trust is well-placed."

And with that, the Doctor led Yasmin out of the room towards their next destination.


	7. Onwards and Upwards - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a discussion about being transgender in a sci-fi setting, and as hard as I tried to get it right, as someone who isn't transgender, I'm not sure if this is a topic that I handled with the right amount of grace. But I wrote it from a place of love and respect, and I hope that it shines through in the final product.

The Doctor threw the doors open to a large room, with each wall plated with a metal that looked like bronze or gold, depending on how the light hit it.

Yaz didn't know what to think of the room as she stepped inside. It defied words - with a high, domed ceiling, and large glass-like bubbles bouncing around, it was a positively alien experience.

"This," The Doctor stated as she led Yasmin into the room with her, "is the Remembrance Hall."

The room had a raised, circular platform in the centre of the room, with what looked like a recorder placed on a perch. The Doctor softly walked up to it with Yasmin in tow.

Anticipating Yaz's confusion, the Doctor continued.

"Time Lords record history in bubbles - my library is half liquid because of that, though I've never been the sort to resist a good page-turner. The personal history of a Time Lord can be documented and stored in a Remembrance Hall - it's kinda like a big photo album, really. I think I prefer that to the name 'Remembrance Hall' - how about that?"

The Doctor smiled goofily at Yaz's slack-jawed face, as the girl tried to take in everything that was happening.

"Welcome to my personal photo album!"

As the Doctor began to point out different bubbles, Yasmin came back to her senses - and she had more than her fair share of questions.

"So wait, you're sayin' that your memories are like bubble mixture and that you keep these... memory bubbles all in a big room, like a _photo album_? What if they pop during a bit of turbulence?!"

The Doctor answered absentmindedly as she continued to point out bubbles.

"The bonds on these memories are as hard as rubber, and the room is rounded so that there's nothing sharp to bump into. They're fairly durable, even during some of the TARDIS's rockier moments - I reckon I've only had 8% memory loss over the years."

Yaz shook her head. Of course.

The Doctor finally seemed to be satisfied with the bubbles that she had counted, and she picked up the recorder in the centre of the podium.

"This isn't a required part of the process, by the way," the Doctor smirked at Yaz, "I rigged it up meself."

The Doctor blew a quick, tooting note. The memory bubbles all shuddered in response.

Yasmin watched in disbelief as the Doctor began to play a song - it almost sounded like a movement to some classic opera that she had been forced to listen to at school. The bubbles began to stir, and a select few started to float down from the ceiling - drawn to the ground by the Doctor's song.

As they surrounded the podium, the Doctor gave a satisfied little puff on the recorder before putting it back on its perch.

"These are all my old faces, Yaz."

The Doctor walked over to one of the bubbles, with Yaz following uncertainly. Taking out her sonic, the Doctor gave the bubble a quick buzz - causing it to inflate and float above the podium at a comfortable viewing angle.

The bubble depicted an old man with white, slicked back hair, operating a tray of switches and buttons inside a bright, white room.

_No flippin' way._

"Doctor..." Yaz asked shakily, "is that... you?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Aye. That's who I was born as."

The bubble showed a teenage-looking girl running up to the old man to tell him about something - who Yaz recognised as Susan from the Doctor's portrait. A pair of adults stood off to the side as well.

"I'm sure you recognise Susan," the Doctor said as the memory played back, "and those were her teachers from school - Ian and Barbara."

The bubble deflated back to its original size, and floated back up to rejoin the other bubbles on the ceiling.

Yaz didn't know what to think. So that old bloke was the Doctor, and that's how she was born...

"Hold on a minute, Doctor," Yaz ejected as she tried to align her thoughts with the words that she wanted to say. "Are you sayin'... are you... transgender?"

The Doctor raised her head in response, with her face being slightly hard to read - but with some definite hints of happiness splashed across there.

"A little! Kinda! Kind of a loaded question, unfortunately. I was a bloke once upon a time, for most of my life actually - I've had more male faces than anyone I know!"

The Doctor buzzed another bubble, beginning another memory recording. This bubble showed a younger man than the first as he played a recorder.

_Ah - this must be where she got the recorder idea from._

The Doctor activated all the bubbles that she had called down, creating a panorama of different faces - grey, wavy hair giving way to dark curly hair, giving way to blonde. Yaz slowly spun in a circle, taking in all the different faces.

She spotted an older face at the end of the line-up - old, dour and grey. A thought flashed through her mind.

"Would that be the 'grey-haired Scotsman' you were talkin' about in Sheffield?"

"Yes!" The Doctor shouted happily. "That's who I used to be before this was my face!"

The memories played over each other, creating a cacophony of sound as Yaz took it all in. The Doctor walked behind her and softly gripped her shoulders.

"This is my first time being a woman, Yaz. And these faces - they were all me at different points in the past, at different stages of my life."

Yaz closed her eyes as the Doctor spoke softly into her ear. Her voice was gentle and soothing like a mild breeze on a sunny Spring day.

"Like you said, I could be considered 'transgender' by the most literal interpretation of the term, but due to my example being due to a random biological imperative - compared to other races who transition their gender in a more actively physical and social sense - I wouldn't want to co-opt the term and risk disrespecting the unique experiences of people who identify with it."

The Doctor spun Yasmin around to face her.

"But besides all that - the point that I'm tryin' to make here is that I've been a man in the past, and now I'm a woman. And I know some people might not be interested after they know that piece of trivia - but before anything else happened between us, I wanted to let you know the unique circumstances surrounding my life."

_Wait - did she just say what I thought she said?_

"Wait - Doctor... are you telling me that... you'd like us to...?"

"Yes." The Doctor stared seriously into Yaz's eyes. "I'm saying that I share your feelings, and that I'd like to give things a shot with you. If you'd have me, of course."

The room fell silent as the Doctor's memory bubbles flew back up to the ceiling. Yaz stood there with the Doctor's hands on her shoulders, as her mind struggled to put together a satisfactory response.

"Doctor... I..." Yaz swallowed her words and broke eye contact, not entirely where to start. But the Doctor gently placed a hand on her chin and brought her gaze back up.

"Hey, it's okay. Take all the time you need - it's just me."

Yaz took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Doctor... I'm bi." Yaz's eyes darted away from the Doctor's as she spoke. "The thought of you being a bloke doesn't phase me too much, but the faces you've had... I'm sorry, but if I had met you with about nine of those other faces, I probably wouldn't have approached you like I have."

The Doctor stifled a laugh as Yasmin raised her head a bit more - still not making eye contact, but asserting herself in preparation of her next comment.

"I like _you_ , Doctor - whether you had a million eyes and a thousand stomachs in the past, that wouldn't matter to me. As long as you're you right now, in the moment, then my feelings are the same. And I do like you, a lot."

The Doctor grinned supportively, but Yaz's face didn't change.

"Ultimately, though... I'm confused. We spoke about this yesterday, and you turned me down. Then today you go and show me these paintings of your exes, and now we're here in this... Remembrance Hall, photo album thingy, and you've chucked a full 180!"

Yaz looked up at the Doctor with a steely look of discomfort on her face.

"I had a good, long think last night, and I was lucky enough to realise that I could still be friendly with you even if you didn't share my romantic feelings. I've had to end friendships because of a romantic rejection, because the fallout has just hurt so much - but with the calm and respectful way that you turned me down yesterday, I managed to find peace with how I felt about you."

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably as Yasmin's stare took a turn for the angry.

"And now that's been flipped completely on its head! I don't know what to think - yesterday you were pretty concrete in sayin' no, then today it's been pictures of the ex and saying that you changed yer mind! It's confusin', y'know!"

Yaz calmed down as the unfortunate situation dawned on the Doctor. A guilty look spread across her face as she reconsidered her course of action.

"Look - I don't want to be rude here, or seem ungrateful, or anythin' like that," Yasmin stated as she rubbed her face. "It makes me happy to hear you say that you'd like to give it a go - honestly! Great news! But I have to ask... what gives? What happened between yesterday and today to make you change your mind like you have? Because mostly, I'm just really, really confused, and it's frustrating."

The Doctor opened her mouth to speak, but her voice failed her. She braced herself and tried again:

"I... s'pose that I did. I changed."

She stepped away from Yaz and moved her hands in place, emoting that she wanted to try again.

"That's to say, I changed a long time ago - with Rose, with River and with Clara."

She pointed the sonic up at the ceiling and targeted a bubble, which came down to where her and Yasmin were standing. A scene played out with a leather-clad, baldish man and a woman who Yasmin recognised as Rose.

"I met Rose when my ears stuck out and I had me first Northern accent. An' I lost her when my hair was pointy and I wore glasses."

She buzzed another bubble with the sonic, showing a dapper young man kissing River Song through the bars of a jail cell.

"River was a love affair from when I was a younger chap, with more of a football player's physique - and I let her go with my last face."

Both bubbles floated back up to the ceiling.

"Y'see, Yaz," The Doctor started, "these aren't just different faces to me - they're different people. We're absolutely the same physical being, and our memories carry over, but so much more changes about me than just my face - my emotions, my way of thinking and speaking, how I abide by my morals! Rose Tyler was three lifetimes away, with so much more history happening between then and now!"

The Doctor grabbed Yasmin's hands with a mad glint in her eye.

"I'm not the baldish bloke with the big ears, and I'm not that guy in the suit with the tennis shoes and glasses! I don't wear bow-ties and I don't get moody and cross - at least not as much as I used to. Because I'm not them, Yaz - I'm me!"

The Doctor let go of Yaz's hands and jumped up like she was a firework. A part of Yaz felt like the Doctor had gone well and truly off her rocker - but another, warmer part was beginning to make sense of the whole situation.

Calming down slightly, the Doctor spoke more openly.

"I'm still so young in the grand scheme of things, and I'm only just finding my way! And it's been because of Graham, and Ryan, and you--" The Doctor pointed enthusiastically at Yaz, "--that has brought me to this point. What changed between yesterday and today, Yaz, is that I realised just how new and full of potential I am - that we, potentially, could be."

The Doctor spread her arms out and threw her head back in relief. It was doing wonders for Yasmin's mood as well - the Doctor's energy was infectious, and her explanation was well and truly "her".

The Doctor dropped her arms and let her head bounce back down - her hair slightly out of place.

"I still feel bad for what's happened in the past, but I need to move forward and create my own legacy - I'll never reach my full potential if I'm stuck in the shadow of my past. And that means moving on."

Yasmin caught her eye - the mad glint from before dulled slightly, replaced with a warmer glow.

"And so, Yasmin Khan, I would like to ask you - despite the hurdles we ended up jumping up to this point - would you be my time-travelling space girlfriend?"

As cross as she had been earlier, Yasmin couldn't have been happier in this very moment. Because even if things had seemed a bit rough in places, the destination most certainly justified the journey.

With all the tension draining away from her, Yasmin grinned at the Doctor.

"Sure thing - I'll be yours, if you'll be mine."

~~~

Yaz held the Doctor's hand as they walked back towards the control room. It was still early days - they had decided to take things slow and see how things went instead of diving into things headfirst, with hand-holding being a good first step.

"Y'know, I was expecting drama when I first told you how I felt," Yaz said, "but I didn't think that things were going to end up like this."

"What," The Doctor looked at her with a playful look in her eye, "you weren't expecting to hold hands with your alien girlfriend by the end of it?"

Yaz laughed. "No, no - the paintings, the anger on my part. Being rejected one day, then with you the next."

The Doctor took a pensive tone.

"Yeah, that's true. I'm still sorry about that, by the way - I think I just needed a bit of time to really think things over. Probably shouldn't have rejected you outright."

"Oh no, don't apologise!" Yaz scrambled. "You've been nothing but kind this entire time. You let me down so well to begin with, and I ended up bein' so cross with you - if anyone should be apologizing here, it's me."

"But you had a reason to be angry," the Doctor retorted. "You were confused and upset, and I didn't handle things as gracefully as I should've. Really - you've got nothin' to be sorry about in my book."

Yaz smirked.

"Look at that. One hand-hold as a couple and we're already bickerin'!"

Both Yaz and the Doctor laughed as they rounded a corner, making their way back to the TARDIS console where Ryan and Graham were waiting.

"Well, you two went for a long stroll!"

Yaz felt a bit self-conscious as Graham commented on their entry. Ryan went to say something, but stopped as he saw the Doctor's hand wrapped around Yaz's.

Yaz quickly untangled her fingers from the Doctor's, a hot flush washing over her face. The Doctor glanced over at her, then at Ryan, before running up to the TARDIS console.

"Yes, sorry 'bout that Graham! Me 'n Yaz had some serious girl-talk - nothing about you two, but nothing that I'm gonna spill!"

Graham grumbled in a good-natured, playful way. "What, now we're keepin' secrets from each other? You can tell who the favorite is, eh Ryan?"

Ryan called out a generic agreement, not taking his eye off of Yaz. She was squirming as embarrassment became her default emotion.

Ryan moved in close to her.

"So, you an' the Doctor--"

"Mm-hmm!" Yaz replied loudly behind closed lips. If she opened her mouth, she wasn't sure if she could regulate the volume of her voice.

Ryan smiled.

"Hey, that's great! Congrats, I'm real happy for you."

Yaz nodded in appreciation. Without Ryan, none of this would have ever happened - and she was very thankful, even if she couldn't bring herself to vocally express it at the moment. She would have to thank him later, when she had calmed down.

And with Graham palling around with the Doctor, and Ryan congratulating Yasmin on a job well done, the TARDIS zipped off into the Time Vortex - taking the ongoing, linear lives of its occupants to the future, past and everywhere in between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the happy ending!
> 
> I started to write this as a cool little fluff story, but for this last part things got a bit dramatic. I don't usually write this hard and fast in such a tight time-span - this entire story came out over the course of about two weeks! This whole time I was writing off of instinct - and my gut was telling me that the Doctor was vulnerable concerning her past lives and was having trouble moving past the guilt and shame that followed her older iterations like ghosts. So that became her central conflict.
> 
> I might not have done Yaz justice in this two-parter - I characterised her as being a bit jerked around because hey, it's not every day you can actually get over a rejection that well - and that progress was thrown away when the Doctor changed her mind! Of course, the Doctor had a good reason - at least I thought it was good, but I'm biased in favor of my own writing so shoot me. Nevertheless, Yaz was a bit cross at times - if any of it seemed contrived or uncharacteristic, then I apologise.
> 
> I hope that I handled the "transgender" subject matter gracefully - I kept thinking that it wasn't a good idea to use it in the context of the Doctor, but it seemed unavoidable with how the story was progressing. The Doctor's comments about transgender folks across different races of people was meant to better address the subject and add nuance to the topic in-universe, but I can't help but feel like I might have bungled it. Please know that if you're transgender, I didn't mean to trivialise your experience by attaching the term to the Doctor however briefly - I have respect for your unique experiences and struggles.
> 
> This chapter was pretty light on the fluff - so I'm going to write down a bit of an epilogue some time in the next few days. Stay tuned for that, hopefully it'll be able to wrap the relationship up with the happy romantic fluff that it deserves and provide some brevity that this chapter seemed to lack.
> 
> As a final bit of trivia - I posted a story called Dreaming of Home where the Doctor brought Yasmin breakfast in bed. That was meant to be how this chapter began, but then the Doctor started to get all standoffish at the TARDIS console and it just didn't fit. If you'd like to get some nice Thirteen/Yasmin interaction, with a bit of light fluff that this chapter didn't have much of, you might enjoy my other story.
> 
> I'll see you guys at the wrap party!


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, folks - the last chapter! I'm not going to say much, except that I threw in some moments that harken back to the first chapter of the story. I also gave Graham a bit of screentime, as I didn't do his character a lot of justice in the story proper - so there's a little bit of variety to look forward to in this chapter.
> 
> The note at the end of this note is going to be massive - so make sure you're ready for a long, gushy note of appreciation once the story winds down to a close. I'll be dropping names - so I'll see you guys there.
> 
> For now, though, enjoy the final instalment of All the Time in the World!

The Doctor pushed a tree branch aside as she led her friends through a thicket of trees.

"Shh! Voices low, everyone - we're technically trespassin' at the moment. Wouldn't want any of us to get caught."

Graham clutched a thick blue bucket close to his chest. Ryan followed with a bucket hanging from each hand, and Yasmin was chasing up the rear with a cloth bag of her own.

"Y'don't have to do this for me, Doc," Graham whispered in a nervous voice. "It's just a little bit of alien fruit, I can live without it."

"'Course ya could, Graham!" The Doctor responded at full speaking volume, causing the group to duck their heads in fear.

Realising her mistake, she lowered her voice and rested on her haunches.

"Look, I know you said you were fine after the Solitract - but look at all these Sensiatuvo trees! We could make a right feast with these, granted that we boil the flesh for long enough. The raw fruit's surprisingly corrosive, apparently - proper tasty once it's been prepared, but you wouldn't want to think about having it fresh!"

Graham let out an exasperated groan - only to slap a hand over his mouth as a low-flying surveillance bot rustled through the trees directly ahead of them. The Doctor pointed them forward, and the group quietly made their way through the fruit trees.

When they had gotten away from one of the busier patrol routes, the Doctor split everyone up - Yaz with her, and Ryan with Graham. They wouldn't go too far, but by the Doctor's reasoning, they would have a better chance at getting properly ripe fruit by spreading out to more trees. With Ryan giving the Doctor one of his buckets, the two groups branched off.

Yaz held onto the Doctor's hand as she led them through the trees, pushing through dense brush in order to find a ripe fruit tree.

"Just askin' for peace of mind - it's only the fruit that's corrosive, yeah?"

The Doctor hummed affirmatively as she ducked under some low-hanging branches.

"I think that fresh bark can cause some irritation, but the layers of bark on these trees are pretty hardy - and the leaves are totally safe. As far as our disturbance goes, we shouldn't be in harm's way."

The pair bumped into a hefty-looking branch, raining a fine, white dust down onto them.

"Agh! Doctor, what is this?!"

"Shh!" The Doctor ducked down again before addressing Yaz. "Those are just inert spores from ripening trees. The ground's coated with them - makes the whole place feel like you're walking on a carpet."

Yaz looked down - sure enough, their footprints trailed back behind them.

"So wouldn't that make us easier to track if the security bots notice something's up?"

"Maybe," The Doctor replied absentmindedly, "but we can worry about that later."

Yaz turned to look at the Doctor - only to find the sight that had distracted her.

While most of the trees that they had passed were "inert", as the Doctor put it, this tree was undoubtedly active. Its branches were raised and spread out, as opposed to the lower and more concentrated foliage of the surrounding trees, and it seemed to be emitting light.

Upon closer inspection, it was the spores on the ground that were emitting light, floating to the top leaves of the tree like microscopic fireflies. Thick, bumpy, purple pieces of fruit lined each branch, with dozens of them seeming to have dropped already - scattered around the base of the tree.

"Jackpot! Alright, here we go Yaz!"

The Doctor let go of Yasmin's hand and began to gather fruit in her bucket. Yaz joined her, less enthusiastic about the task at hand - mostly taken aback at how beautiful the tree looked with its glowing spores floating through the air.

"I'm sorry Doctor, but are you seein' this?"

The Doctor looked back and shot Yasmin an appreciative grin.

"Oh, I'm seein' it all right! Sensiatuvo trees are extraordinarily beautiful when they're producing fruit. I do love a good Sensiatuvo tree, y'know."

To Yaz, the Doctor's smiling, rambling face was gorgeous even at the worst of times. But with all of the fleeting little spores of light floating past her face, Yaz was positively awestruck at how attractive the Doctor looked.

The Doctor noticed her gawking face and piped up.

"Looks like you're a fan, too - glad to see it!"

Yaz turned away, focusing on the task at hand to hide her blushing face.

"Oh, I'm a fan all right."

The Doctor crouched down to pick up some fruit, stirring up some glowing spores. Sputtering as they blew up into her face, she shot back up to her feet and shook them out of her hair - sending spores flying everywhere.

The spores seemed to frame and orbit the Doctor's face, streaming away from her in concentrated ribbons of light. Yaz felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest like a hand grenade - the sight of those spore clouds orbiting around the Doctor stirred her heart in a way that hadn't been matched since her confession of love.

Something flipped inside Yasmin's heart - a primal instinct, maybe, or a decision that her heart had finally reached. Whatever it was, Yaz acted before she could stop herself.

She got up close to the Doctor, nervously using a hand to line the Doctor's face up with hers.

"Doctor... I like you a lot, right now. Like... a LOT."

The Doctor shot her a surprised glance.

"You certainly seem to be acting like it."

Yaz snaked an arm behind the Doctor's back, eliciting a surprised exclamation from the blonde woman. Then, with great trepidation, Yaz moved in and kissed her.

It was only a quick kiss - more substantial than a peck, but not anything particularly extravagant or active. But it sparked an anxious fire in Yaz's chest as she acted on her sudden urge, and the Doctor was similarly giddy over the act in question.

Because after weeks of holding hands and working up to more intimate activities - weeks of navigating throughout the complexities of a new relationship while confronting ancient mud vampires and unsustainable alternate universes - Yaz had just initiated their first kiss.

The moment passed fairly quickly, with Yaz opting to pull away before the Doctor could react too much. Her face was already starting to burn up as she averted her gaze from that of the Doctor.

"I-I'm sorry if that came out of the blue for you. But you look so gorgeous, and I just... knew what to do."

The Doctor smiled sweetly, looking down at Yasmin as she closed the distance between them once again.

"Nothin' to apologise for, Yasmin Khan."

The Doctor took Yasmin by the chin and softly guided her face back up to hers - kissing her back.

She took a bit longer than Yasmin did, taking the opportunity to run her tongue playfully along the top row of Yaz's teeth. Satisfied, she pulled away from Yasmin - keeping the younger woman short of breath.

Everything that had been rushing through Yaz's mind had been blown away by the Doctor's cheeky retort - the only information that seemed to sink in was that the Doctor had reciprocated her kiss, with the rest of her mind being dedicated to internal screaming and visions of fireworks. The Doctor grinned smugly as Yaz struggled to formulate a response.

Suddenly, both women heard a thud nearby - with the sound startling Yaz right out of her skin and shaking her out of her reverie. They turned towards the source of the noise to find Ryan, glaring at a purple fruit that had fallen out of a full bucket.

"Hey, uhh... not tryin' to butt in," Ryan stammered as he avoided eye contact with either of his friends. "Me an' Graham just found some fruit, so we're goin' back now."

Ryan backed out as fast as he could, dropping a few more pieces of Sensiatuvo fruit on the way.

The Doctor was a little bit embarrassed at being caught out like they had been - but Yaz was borderline non-responsive. It was slightly embarrassing, but what had just transpired between her and the Doctor felt slightly legitimised by another element of her reality stepping in to make its presence known.

Seeing her struggle, the Doctor grabbed her hand supportively.

"Hey, Yaz - c'mon now. We should head back to the TARDIS ourselves."

Nodding weakly, Yaz took the Doctor's hand and followed her back - basking in both the adoration that she felt for the Doctor and the embarrassment of being caught in the act.

~~~

Soon, everyone was back at the TARDIS - with Graham and Ryan's buckets full to the brim with fruit, the Doctor's bucket about half full, and Yasmin's cloth bag being almost empty.

"Right - good job, team!" The Doctor called out energetically. "I'll go and put some of these in the pressure cooker to loosen their shells - feel free to sit back if you like, because it's gonna take a while."

Graham worked some of the tension out of his shoulders, and Yaz went to wash up - "look at me jacket, it's covered in spores!" - leaving Ryan in a precarious position with Graham in the main console room.

Graham glanced over at his anxious face once he'd finished stretching.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, son."

Ryan shook his head dismissively.

"Nah, just weirded out by those trees out there, y'know. And the fruit all looks so weird, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah," Graham said as he picked up a spare Sensiatuvo fruit. "Look at all the bumps on it - do y'reckon this is where the seeds are?"

Ryan glanced at the fruit.

"Whether it is or not, I'm not touchin' it. The Doctor said they were corrosive, so I'll wait until she's back to ask."

Graham chuckled. "That's a good idea, that is."

The two stood in silence, with Ryan's anxiety failing to fade. Eventually, Graham couldn't help but comment.

"Look, Ryan, are you gonna tell me what's on your mind, or aren't you?"

Ryan shot a panicked, scandalized glare at Graham.

"Who says I've got anythin' on me mind?!"

"Well, your tone doesn't do you any favors, to begin with," Graham shot back. "And you must all think I've gone blind and deaf in my old age, because no-one's approached me about what's goin' on between Yaz and the Doc!"

Ryan's jaw dropped.

"You know?!"

"Of course I know!" Graham's voice was exasperated and a little upset. "What, you think I'm not going to notice when half of our group starts seein' each other?"

Ryan retreated a little bit.

"It's not that I went out of my way t'keep you in the dark, just so y'know! Yaz came to me for help, an' I left her and the Doctor to come forward with it when they felt comfortable enough to properly tell us!"

Graham waved his arms out in front of him, calming down as he tried to put the pieces together.

"Alright! Alright. It just feels like you're all... dancin' on eggshells around me, y'know. With Grace, and now this."

Graham nudged his bucket of Sensiatuvo fruit with his foot. Ryan nodded.

"Yeah, sorry. We just wanted to cheer you up, y'know."

"I appreciate it," Graham said in a tired tone, "but really - I'm fine. I'm doing okay now."

Graham let a long sigh out as he processed what he wanted to say.

"Just... I want to be included, y'know? I care about you - callin' me grandad was great, an' I really appreciate it, but I'm tryin' to contribute to our little group and get along with everyone else as well. It can feel a bit lonely when no-one's talkin' to me about this sort of thing, is what I'm sayin'."

Graham looked away, slightly embarrassed by what he was saying.

"I suppose what I mean is... please don't leave me out of the loop. I care about you a lot - you're family to me. But I also care about our little team as well."

Ryan glanced away with a guilty look on his face.

"I'm not lyin' when I said it seemed more appropriate for the Doctor and Yaz to come forward, but I won't lie - a part of me wasn't sure how you might've taken the news."

Graham gave Ryan a dejected smile.

"I haven't been the most progressive bloke in the past, way back before I knew your gran, but I thought that I had turned myself around. Remember that pregnant bloke on the medical ship? If I'd been 20 years younger, I would've said some pretty shameful things about that."

Ryan smiled uncomfortably. Graham shook his head and scaled the topic back.

"Look, what I'm tryin' to say is... I've done a lot of catchin' up, even before I met Grace. And even then, my time with your gran opened my heart to a lot of good things in the world. I really, truly adored her - and I'm just happy to see people find that same sort of happiness in each other that I found in her."

Graham's eyes glassed over slightly, with Ryan softening his stance.

"I loved your gran more than just about anything, Ryan - I've come around to really appreciate love thanks to 'er, in all its forms. And I'd like to be able to celebrate that with you, Yaz an' the Doc."

Ryan gave Graham a hug as the older man let a tear fall from his face.

"Fair enough, grandad," Ryan said softly into Graham's shoulder. "I loved her too, y'know - she was my nan. An' with her gone... you might be the only family I have left. You're doin' fine - we'll be more open with you, I promise."

Ryan stood there with Graham's arms wrapped around him - his initial labelling of grandad meaning a lot on its own back in Norway, but his current acceptance of Graham's worries serving to further strengthen the familial bond that they had established.

~~~

Eventually, the fruit was ready. Graham hopped into the kitchen with the Doctor to help prepare it all - his reasoning being "It's the least I could do after everyone went to get these" - and the group had a small feast of slightly acidic alien fruit. Graham rather liked the tang - and the Doctor showed him how to prepare the seeds like they were in his ice cream, two weeks earlier.

With their stomachs full, Ryan and Graham retired to the common room while Yaz stayed back to spend some more time with the Doctor.

"...And that's how the corrosive bond gets drawn out by the pressure, though now the pressure cooker is gonna need a bit of a scrub."

Yasmin grinned lazily at the Doctor's explanation.

"You're clever, Doctor - y'know that?"

The Doctor grinned back.

"Hate to sound like an egotist, but I reckon you might be right."

Yaz chuckled to herself. _I reckon I love this woman._

The lazy mood hung over them as silence fell, with the pair finding comfort in each other's company. Yaz had sidled up close to the Doctor, and her frame was soon clad in the Doctor's arms as they shared a comfortable embrace.

"So," The Doctor spoke lowly into Yasmin's hair, "I suppose we're official, then?"

Yaz sighed contently. "Yeah, I suppose we are. First kiss an' all."

The Doctor hummed sensually, feeling Yaz's head laying in the crook of her neck. The noise came across as more of a purr to Yasmin, causing her to nestle in closer.

"Hrmmgh... I love you, Doctor."

The Doctor squeezed her arms around Yaz.

"I love you too, Yaz."

The pair sat there for a while, enjoying the closeness of their bodies - until the glassware on the walls began to vibrate and give off noise.

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yaz - we're back in the Nexoris field!"

The vibrations rang out from the glassware, singing a song throughout the dining hall. The melody peaked and dipped at regular intervals, coming across to Yasmin as more of a... sonic dance, than a song.

"You said that the songs of the Nexoris tell stories, Doctor - can you tell me what this one's about?"

The Doctor took a second to take in the song, giving Yaz a reassuring squeeze as she did so. She let out a quick puff of air as the puzzle pieces put themselves together in her mind.

"This song is about a Nexoris princess who existed before the invaders came. She was pretty well-liked by the people, but her head was always looking up towards the stars."

The Doctor loosened her grip on Yasmin, and looked down at her to catch a look of her face.

"One day, a rogue ship crashed-landed onto one of the planets of the Nexorian Dominion. She was a traveller from among the stars, and the princess was immediately intrigued by this mysterious stranger. She managed to get a royal envoy together to meet the traveller."

"After meeting her," the Doctor continued as she stroked Yasmin's arm, "the princess fell madly in love. Days later, the pair were gone - never to return to the Nexorian Dominion again. But the princess sent letters back from time to time, and the resulting correspondence became one of the Nexoris' most endearing love stories."

Yaz felt the heartbeats of the Doctor pick up as she stroked her arm. Maybe there was more to this story than she was letting on.

"So... what d'you think happened to 'em once they left?"

The Doctor smiled a happy, giddy smile.

"They lived happily ever after, of course!"

Yaz smirked.

"It's really that simple?"

"Absolutely, Yaz." The Doctor laid her head back down to rest in Yaz's hair. "It's the tradition of the song that's interesting."

"Hmm?" Yaz untangled herself from the Doctor's embrace to look her in the face. The Doctor had a light blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Well, erm... y'see... it's considered good luck for travellers to record the legend onto waveform bracelets to commemorate a new relationship, in the hopes that the legend will bring both parties luck in their travels."

Yaz broke out into a big, stupid grin.

"Wait... are you thinking about--"

The Doctor's embarrassed, giddy grin was all that Yaz needed to see. Settling back in, Yaz threw her arms around the Doctor's waist - feeling her grey coat flit up and wrap around her shoulders.

"Well, if you're thinkin' of going through with this, I would be honoured. Just so you know."

The Doctor laid a soft, sweet gaze upon Yasmin.

"It'd take me a while to get the materials together for matching bracelets. We'd need to visit a few far-off planets, and that could take a while."

Yaz basked in the Doctor's body heat, letting her low, affectionate voice roll softly through her body and stir her heart into a murmur.

"No problem, Doctor. I don't mind waitin', as long as I get to wait with you."

She moved herself back into a sitting position to meet the Doctor's eye.

"I couldn't speak for you, personally - I don't mind if there isn't enough time on your agenda. But as long as I've got you? I've got all the time in the world."

The Doctor glowed as Yasmin put the finishing touch on her statement. She leant down to meet Yasmin's lips with her own - embracing her in a warm and tender kiss.

And they stayed there with the glassware singing them a ballad from a millenia long past, caught in a fleeting moment of perfect bliss among the stars.

* * *

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are, the end of the story and the start of Yasmin and the Doctor's relationship.
> 
> I set this chapter before the season finale for a couple of reasons. To begin with, I started this story before the episode aired - this whole thing was always intended to take place before the final episode of series 11 because it was made in the space before it aired. Secondly, because my shipper heart grinned like an idiot during the scene where Yaz told the Doctor that she wouldn't leave her behind - my immediate thought was "if that was a reaffirmation of love, I would melt into a thousand puddles of mush".
> 
> My characterisation of Graham hasn't necessarily been the best throughout the story, using him as more of a sounding board at times to chime in when there needs to be a quip. I was a big fan of how I wrote him in chapter 2, but after that he took a back seat and I felt kind of bad about that. So I thought that I would bring him into the loop in this chapter and give him a nice little moment.
> 
> As a guy who grew up in a pretty intolerant environment, I just couldn't see Graham as someone who had been completely accepting of certain things throughout his entire life - I'm only in my early 20's, and Graham has had a few decades on me. But he's shown that even if he's not the most well equipped person to handle an unfamiliar social situation (such as the ever-present pregnant guy in the Tsuranga Conundrum that I keep coming back to), he's still very kind and accepting of the circumstances that have resulted in these unfamiliar situations, and he respects the people engaged in them.
> 
> I like to think that he had softened up and become a bit more open-minded and kind before he met Grace - dealing with his cancer diagnosis in a way that left a positive impact on the world in his wake - but the immense love that he felt for Grace is what really opened his heart to romance and love of all degrees. That's my main statement on Graham.
> 
> And now, to the meat of this note - thank you so, so much for reading my story.
> 
> I mentioned in a previous chapter that I started writing fanfiction when I was a kid. Well, since I started, I've never had a story that's gotten this big. Over 100 kudos and 20+ comments - that's truly unreal to me. It makes me so happy to see so many people interact with my work.
> 
> A lot of my fanfiction career has been throwing my voice into the void, as folks on the internet tend to do. This has been the first time that I feel like my voice has really been heard by a community of people who get where I'm coming from - it's been such a new, positive experience.
> 
> I'd like to thank LyzzardBrain, allofthecaffeine, oovoojaver (love the name!) and namelessfaceless for their comments across the whole story - your continued patronage really meant a lot to me as I was putting this story together. I would also like to thank morganfm, tronja307020, Hetzi_clutch, Kathy and JOctopus for posting their in-depth comments - again, the feedback reiterated that I was being heard, which meant the world to me. Everyone who commented made such an impact with me, and I want to thank you all for expressing interest in my story.
> 
> With morganfm and Kathy in particular, I appreciate the feedback regarding my lack of confidence in some of the chapters. I talked about this in a very long, rambly response that I made to Kathy, but in a nutshell - I was very nervous about how people would take my story, and there were a few topics that I covered that I was worried about messing up. I'm kind of just an insecure person, and it got the better of me - I took pride in every chapter I wrote, and even as I faltered at points and worried about the reception, the positive responses I got just really made my day each time. I need to be more assertive and confident in my abilities - so thank you both for reaching out like you did. I appreciate the feedback.
> 
> And to all of you - everyone reading over this ending note, or anyone who's taken interest in my story and given it a go - I couldn't have kept up the pace like I have without your support. It's hard to keep these stories going without getting any sort of reception - so with the amount of hits that this story has been garnering, as well as the truly monumental amount of kudos that it's gathered, I can't possibly thank you enough for supporting my story and making my voice feel heard. It made all the difference in the world as I scurried to get each chapter together and bring it out for you to read.
> 
> I don't know if I have another Doctor Who story left in me. This was unexplored territory, and I really tapped the well dry getting this story out. But I have enjoyed writing for this fandom immensely, and the response has been the biggest and most positive response out of all of my stories beforehand. Thank you so much for reading my story and making me feel so welcome - you've been such a fantastic inspiration for me!


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